Wall Street

Some people will do anything for money and power.

Most of us take this truism for granted and move on with our lives. Oliver Stone sees it as a justification for a career's worth of crappy movies, from "Salvador" to "Nixon". "Wall Street" is a prototype for his heavy handed schtick.

Charlie Sheen stars as Bud Fox, an up-and-coming stock broker who manages to befriend his idol in the investment world, Gordon Gekko, played by Michael Douglas. (With these names, though, you could be forgiven for thinking it's a film about a used car salesman and a porn star.) Fox quickly learns the secret to Gekko's success: trading on inside information and ruthlessly tearing apart companies for profit.

Inevitably, Fox turns to the dark side, tempted by money and women (represented here by Daryl Hannah, whose butch features and inept acting call to mind Hulk Hogan rather than Hollywood hearthrob). Fox's inevitable turn to the dark side can be summed up in three conveniently ham-handed quotes:

"But that's illegal, Mr. Gekko!"
"Everybody's doing it."
"Who am I?"

Adding to the embarrassment is the fact that "Wall Street" is hilariously dated, and not just because the characters' cell phones are the size of small children. Talented auteurs, the Scorceses and Tarantinos of the world, put a stamp on their films that allows them to transcend time ("Mean Streets" and "Pulp Fiction" retain their remarkable cool years later). But with its atrocious '80s soundtrack and paint-by-numbers cinematography, "Wall Street" is very much of its time.

Stone doesn't seem terribly interested in making a good movie here. After all, when you write lines like "You don't actually think we live in a democracy, do you Bud?" or "Money makes you do things you don't want to do," it's clear you're more interested in making adult after-school specials than films.