As Good As It Gets

There is one heartbreaking scene in "As Good As It Gets." Jack Nicholson's character has just returned a dog he had been watching for a few weeks to its owner. He had formed a special bond with the animal. He begins laughing at himself, saying "Over a dog," but the laughter quickly turns to tears. The cheer is somehow indistinguishable from the sadness.

It's a painful moment, but not for the reason the filmmakers intended. What's tragic about the scene is that Nicholson is wasting his tremendous talent on a piece of feel good pap.

"As Good As It Gets" stars Nicholson as Melvin, an obsessive compulsive writer who doesn't know how to love. His favorite waitress, Carol (Helen Hunt), desperately needs a boyfriend to break up the monotony of caring for her asthmatic young son. His neighbor, Simon (Greg Kinnear), is a cheerful artist who doesn't know how to stand up for himself. Can you guess how these people's lives will be changed in two hours?

But wait, there's more! "As Good As It Gets" isn't just an inspirational drama, it's also a comedy! Unfortunately, the wit in this movie is about at the level of "Dude, Where's My Car?" The jokes are either awkwardly staged, as when Carol's fellow waitresses freeze in mock horror when she suggests that Melvin wait for a table, or based on bodily humor, as when Melvin crushes his crotch while moving his car seat up. (Men have penises, haha!)

Before seeing this movie, I learned that it had garnered seven Oscar nominations. I wasn't sure if this was a good sign or a bad sign. My worst fears were confirmed. The nominations are like cruel jokes. Best Editing for a movie that's a half hour too long! Best Score to Hollywood hackmeister Hans Zimmer! Best Screenplay for a script with no subtlety, nuance, or interesting ideas! Somehow there's no directing nomination, despite a good seven or eight teary monologues which get the zoom-in treatment.

This brings us to the movie's two wins, for Best Actress and Best Actor. Helen Hunt does her best to elevate some lame material, but she's not Oscar-worthy. Nicholson, on the other hand, is very good. And the "Best Actor" is not like a "Most Valuable Player" award in sports, where you can argue that a player is only valuable if his team is good. So Jack's win may have been justified--but it's still depressing to see him waste his talents on such forgettable material.